Cheeseburgers are the food of gods

Whats with the grimaces and looks of disgust I receive when I say I want a cheeseburger all the time? Go die. Cheeseburgers are the single greatest invention since sliced bread, which is fucking included in the food itself. Oh its unhealthy blah blah, well I think you'll find the stress it causes you to tell me not to eat cheeseburgers causes higher blood pressure and cholesterol than eating the burger itself.
Infact, cheeseburgers are good for you. Yesterday I ate 14 cheeseburgers and after the 13th one I had a brainwave and cured AIDS. The 14th burger was just celebratory. This is because the primary ingriedient in cheeseburgers is MEAT and any idiot (even a woman) knows that meat makes you smarter, promotes Tom Selleck-esqe mustache growth and also, being the primary ingriedient in Bruce Willis, makes it FUCKING BADASS.
If you want to partake in this bizarre concept some like to call "cooking your own food" and lecture me every time I buy a burger then go for it. But I've heard that people who do that have a higher chance in contracting my fist to their face.

To me every cheeseburger tastes like its been made with unicorn flesh, cooked to perfection on the fires of a phoenixes rebirthing, filled with salad that has been smashed into small pieces by Odins hammer and topped off with angel cum. And they make me happy because they make you furious and fat and me stoked and powerful like She-Ra.


Sup?

But I dont really care.
Im only writing this blog to fill time while I wait for my flatmates to get back with cheeseburgers.

If you dont think this is awesome, get the fuck off my blog.

This is the coolest thing ive ever seen. Found this yesterday and had to evolve in the space of a few in seconds in order to grow a penis so I could get a boner over it. Before i'd even clicked the link my flatmate Hamish was determined to convince me it was a guy in a suit. But Hamish thinks Orbs are phospherescent fish superimposed onto films of nothing and hes also a racist that doesnt believe in ghosts or black people. And if you don't believe in ghosts I hate you, because it means you dont believe in things that are fucking totally badass and fuck shit up.