When you walked into The Shark Club I thought you looked kinda cute..In comparison to the drunk irishman and fat cambodian guys. But up close you look like Tom Green and your smile was like the top of a castle from an old film about castles.
I told Eliza you looked cute but I was too scared to approach you because you looked ripped and I was afraid you would do a german suplex on me.
But then I saw you with that fat girl. If i'd known you'd like fat girls I wouldve put loads of snooker balls up my top and gyrated against you.
But then i'd say, "no no beard guy, you can look but you cant touch". Because then you wouldve thought I was classy and all my friends wouldve been proud of me.
I think the turning point was when your friend approached me and said YOU GAT ANY WEED MANG and pinched his thumb and forfinger together, then as he raised it up to his lips in an "toking" motion I realised that you were an american tourist, and I had had way too many shots and I wouldve rather have been shot into a volcano than go home with you.
I hate alcohol and you have a stupid t-shirt that does make any sense.
Love Faye.
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