Things I thought when I was little that make no sense now.

Whenever i went (still do) go to the bathroom i feel like im going to blink and ill suddenly be somewhere else taking a piss. Like, as if i am hallucinating going to the bathroom and was really doing something else.

I thought that planes made clouds.

We used to have to do "oral reading" in class, which just meant you read out loud to the class. So, when I first heard of "oral sex" I thought it was just sex through talking, kind of like phone sex or cyber sex, but face to face.

I believed that everyone around me was psychic and could tell all the lies that I told and could read eachothers thoughts and were secretly sniggering at people like me who didnt have the power.


I believed that all my stuffed animals came to life when I was at school or sleeping.

I used to believe that guys would store pee in their balls.

I thought that a monster was trying to drag me under the bed. I slept with the covers over my head because i was scared (and still am) that a monster will stab me in the back of the head.

I believed you'd die when you turned 100.

I used to think if i used a plastic grocery bag and jumped off the trampoline, i could parachute.

That the doctors name in Rugrats was dr.lipshits.

I used to think when you talked on the phone your voice carried through the wires to the other phone.

If you got a split end and didn't cut it off, it would travel to your had and split it down the middle.

That if im in a dark place monsters come out so I cant see them.

That there was always something behind my shower curtain so I would have to check every single time I went in to piss.

I also believed that if you flushed the toilet whilst your back was turned then ET would fly out and cling on to your back and kill you. I still to this day run straight after i flush the toilet and cant do it with my back turned.